As I neared the end of my Master’s I started capturing the raw emotion… so here it is for you reading pleasure. 🙂

9/15/18 – Pass/Fail

Those words are paralyzing my brain causing unnecessary feelings of doubt, pressure, panic, insurmountable obstacles and every other self-depreciating thought as I finish out my Master’s Degree.  I feel this daunting Capstone to be hand-cuffs that I must break in order to be free of school.  Free to relax, free to shut off my brain, free to not sit in an office 7 days a week and free from weekly judgement on my opinions (backed by at least 2 scholarly resources) in the form of a grade.  And lastly, free to once again be attentive to my family, to my needs and to whatever spontaneous decision floats my fancy.

I started this entry in the midst of editing the final touches of my capstone to accurately capture my raw emotion.  Perhaps this is like child birth in the regard that how I feel today (pain on a different scale), will soon be a distant memory.  I will not remember the agony and only remember the triumph of accomplishing something great.  (Side note: Sloane will ALWAYS be a bigger accomplishment than a piece of paper, just the analogy that popped in my mind.)

Am I done?

The next step arrives with its emotional friend “disbelief” that perhaps I have finished polishing all my artifacts.  Have I created an Integrated Marketing Portfolio for a fictitious floral company, based in Kansas is expanding globally in Finland in a proficient manner?  I sure hope so because anything more I add is just sizzle and not steak.

And while I understand the need to showcase that I can weave together 11 classes of content into one humongous final paper…it feels like calculus; not sure I will ever need (or want) to do this again.  I am not sure I will ever work with a floral shop who wants to expand internationally (if you know of one, send them my way, they can have my blood, sweat, tears and ideas).

What’s next?

I get to take “student” out of my list of “jobs” (Wife, Mom, Employee, Relative and Friend).  Am I walking at my commencement in May? Nope. This 110 week journey complete with 440 documents and 12+ books has taken enough of my time away from mornings, nights, weekends, breaks, vacations, holidays and life.   I don’t need to spend hours seated among a sea of caps and gowns, in a cold arena just to hear “Stacey York, Master of Marketing” (unless I am sitting next to my favorite birthday twin Samantha  in her cap/gown).

9/17 –Waiting Game  

O.M.G. can my capstone grade just post already?!  Yeah, that is about all I can think about…ugh, school is still consuming my waking non-working moments. Funny, after all this time I learned how to send grade notifications to my email. Now I can stop clicking refresh 20,000 times.

The only other time I felt this pressure in taking a test was driver’s ed. You remember, the road test, the written test and waiting to pass and get your license (and hoped you didn’t fail as it would crush you).

9/18 – Your Final Grade is…

As I am on the phone with my friend & colleague (Kelly), I see an email come across and the long subject line is:   MKT-700-Q5274 Marketing Capstone 18TW5 – Updated Grade: Your grade for “9-1 Capstone Components 1 and 2: Integrated Marketing Portfolio and Executive Summary Presentation” has been updated.

I scramble. I see my grade in the email yet I don’t believe it. I log into the SNHU portal to see it there, to confirm what I saw in the email.  All the while I am saying in the phone “oh my gosh, oh my gosh, holy cow, hang on, let me see” (and Kelly replying what? what is it?).  O.M.G. Yes, indeed I got an A!

Let the flood gates open…tears of joy, tears of relief, tears of freedom.  I am graduating with my Master’s in Science in Marketing (concentration in Social Media).  I do have a final week of schoolwork (easy stuff) for the other class (yes, 2 classes a term to finish before March 2019).   Though regardless, I am going to graduate.  My degree will “confer” on October 1, 2018.

Thank you

The list of people for me to thank is quite hefty as so many have gotten me through the last 25 months of schoolwork.

• First and foremost Todd & the girls have been super patient and understanding on all the things we delayed due to my “homework”. They were totally cool when I dragged my books/laptop to the Dominican on our Nickelodeon vacation, or when I locked myself in the office with classic music on loud enough to drain out Fort Nite.  Thank you all for the love and support so that I could focus on finishing my Master’s.
• My Mom & Dad took care of Sloane countless times when I needed time to focus on my papers (or just because she asked to go there, not sure which it was at times). I know my college path was different than most, though my parents always believed in me so I believed in myself.
• My birthday twin and college buddy Samantha. I met her on my 2^nd term and knew that we were very similar and could be great friends. Little did I know we’d share the same birthday (not the year). No words can ever describe how much I appreciated having her by my side for the last 9 terms (that = 100 weeks).
• ALL my friends who allowed me to skip out on events, be stressed out, panic, those who offered me kind words, were my cheerleaders, a shoulder to cry on, let me do homework while getting my hair done, taken me on a walk to decompress, took my darn coffee survey twice and especially those who knew when I needed a big pour of wine.
• My employer for Tuition Reimbursement (it’s how I got an undergrad & graduate degree) and my colleagues who had to hear me drone on about why they too should go to school (and/or the project du jour).

While I didn’t intend this to become an acceptance speech, to me this is far better than a mere 3-seconds of hearing my name in an arena, isn’t it? 🙂

In the words of Cookie Monster: